Everyone has their favourite supermarket they’ll say is the best every time.
But what about when you visit the worst of your best?
I will stand on any hill and say Tesco is the greatest supermarket chain out there.
READ MORE: ‘I visited the London Marks & Spencer people say is the best in the country and I couldn’t believe what I saw’
But something bringing me daily disappointment is knowing one of my very own local Tesco stores is known as the ‘worst’ one.
Admittedly I’ve subjected myself to visiting here far more times than I’d like to – to be honest, even just one trip is enough for anyone.
Rated 2.4 stars on Google, Tesco South Lambeth is truly dreadful.
On the raised pavement along Wandsworth Road, this small yet long rectangular Tesco Express has been disappointing shoppers since 2010.
Filling me with false hope, the security guard greets me with a friendly welcome every time I walk through the narrow doorway.
Ends of aisles hit me in the face as soon as I walk in and I practice the side step shuffle the regulars are used to here.
There’s absolutely no room for passing in and out of the store and you have to awkwardly turn yourself to corner the aisles without bumping in to the plodding traffic of those leaving this godforsaken place.
Despite being peak lunchtime, Tesco was more crammed with stuff than people. And I definitely don’t mean stuff on the shelves.
Crates lay all over the floor, blocking the narrow aisles and half-filled shelves to create an absolute obstacle course.
There’s literally just stuff everywhere and you can see the annoyance in the eyes of every shopper.
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever survived a trip here when there hasn’t been things in the way of my shopping.
It’s almost like a course from Total Wipeout – except with the floor this dirty, I’d rather be splashing into the ice cold water.
Lo and be hold, there are plenty of products missing in the fruit and vegetable aisles. It’s always a real gamble you’ll be able to get what you actually want. My recommendation is to have a plan B, and C and D and…
Potentially a good thing for my supposed January diet; the pastry section is yet again empty.
Turning corners, I pass the crate obstacles to be greeted by cardboard-filled cages from the filling of fridges.
No matter what time of day it is, the lights always seem to be dim and dull. So walking round at lunchtime, combined with the crates of stock and rubbish lying around, you feel trapped in this weird closing time late evening mode.
I’m surprised today to miraculously see shelves actually full. The entire freezer section is beaming with perfectly filled shelves.
It’s just a shame they’ve left all of their unpacking rubbish on the shop floor as a reminder of this store’s stain on Tesco’s name.
Adding to the apocalyptic feel is the zombie-like staff.
Honestly, having formerly worked at Tesco myself I know how awful it can sometimes be.
But the staff here seem to want to annoy customers.
Lifelessly walking around with bored and cold dispositions, they use up aisle space whilst trying to shop and have people queuing for the two working self-checkouts in order to avoid the painful interaction.
Google reviews agree too: for years shoppers have called them out for ‘rude’ customer service and ‘constant attitude’ of the staff.
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The friendliest staff member at Tesco Express South Lambeth is always the security guard. He gives me the usual sympathetic smile as I finally escape the the dreaded store.
A truly awful Tesco, it’s easily the worst one I’ve ever, ever been to anywhere in the country.
It’s dull, disappointing and depressing.
I whole-heartedly agree with the reviews that plead with the chain to: ‘Please sort this store out Tesco’s. People deserve better.’
If only my Clubcard didn’t have such control over me and continuously lure me in, I’d be walking over the nearby, much more pleasant, Sainsbury’s.