Home Breaking News ‘I earn more than my husband does and he really resents it’

‘I earn more than my husband does and he really resents it’

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Salaries can be a touchy subject for some people, and jealousy around the topic is also common, even in relationships.

One woman has opened up about her experience of her husband growing resentful over her flourishing career.

Speaking to Grazia the mum of two explained her situation and the tension her success had caused in her marriage.

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Mel – not her real name – explained how she works a high-flying job in management at a marketing agency representing musicians.

The job requires her to travel every two months either to the US cities like LA and New York or to Europe, leaving her two kids at home to be looked after by her husband Steve (again, not his real name).

(stock photo) Mel said that her husband reacted badly when she was given a massive pay rise

Mel insists that her business trips aren’t as glamorous as they sound, consisting of “gruelling 15-hour days of entertaining clients”.

But to Steve and other people though the trips to were exactly that, glamorous and exciting escapes from the mundane tasks of parenting.

Mel adds: “That wasn’t the whole truth by any means – but I suppose, on one level, the trips were my escape. For five days, I didn’t have to be ‘mum’ or worry about piles of dirty washing.”

Mel outlined how early in their marriage the dynamic had been very different.

She’d fallen pregnant at 21 and Steve’s electrician job had made him the sole provider while she was a stay at home mum for two years.

Mel wanted to earn too though, and went back to university with Steve’s full support.

She came out of the media studies degree with an internship which became a job.

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She explained: “Over ten years, I went from low-paid marketing assistant to a full-time manager with a competitive salary – having another son in between.”

Initially Steve had appreciated the financial boost Mel’s success brought, but as her job became more full-on with round the clock messages and evening business calls he began to resent it, having worked his same job for 20 years.

Mel believes he grew frustrated that she was staying in luxury hotels, attending film premieres, and award ceremonies, whilst he was left to look after the kids.

She said: “I think he worried that I’d get swept up in this glamorous life and wouldn’t want to come back to the domestic mundanity, but that wasn’t true. I loved our life and being a mum – I still do.”

He resented that Mel was seeing and travelling to so many interesting places without him, places he’d never been, and when out with friends he would be embarrassed and annoyed that they all quizzed Mel about her travels which he wasn’t included in.

Mel said it was no use reasoning with him: “I tried to explain it was work, not a holiday. But I was wasting my breath. It would just turn into a frosty silence and we’d go to bed not speaking.”

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All this Mel could ignore, but when he reacted negatively to her receiving a £20k payrise she had had enough.

“He used to moan I didn’t get paid enough, but when I started earning more than him, it was a lot for his male ego to take.”

Mel argues that she does all the ‘mum jobs’ when she’s home, taking kids to school and other activities, food shopping, and says she won’t feel guilty for pursuing her desire to achieve at work.

She says if Steve ever made her choose she wouldn’t budge.

“I’m not giving up what I’ve worked so hard to achieve just to keep him happy. The only time I’d give up work is if it was affecting the kids – and it isn’t. Steve has to change his outlook, not me.”

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https://www.mylondon.news/lifestyle/i-earn-more-husband-really-22660650