LABOUR’S crushing defeat in Hartlepool was, famously, its worst consequence within the area for the reason that Second World War.
So what was the very first thing chief Sir Keir Starmer did within the humiliating aftermath?
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The very first thing Sir Keir did within the humiliating aftermath of Labour’s defeat in native elections was blame the ladiesCredit: Reuters
Blame the ladies, in fact.
After sacking well-liked Labour stalwart Angela Rayner and the much less well-liked however nonetheless double XX-chromosomed Anneliese Dodds, the ever-relatable Sir Keir is frantically making an attempt to quash accusations of misogyny in a haphazard Shadow Cabinet reshuffle.
Labour, the occasion of “equality and equity”, must wake as much as the actual fact it has a woman problem.
The Tories, supposedly the out-of-touch tribe favouring posh white boys, have had two feminine Prime Ministers.
Labour has but to elect its first feminine chief.
Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour fared simply as badly, with a number of sensible ladies quitting beneath his command.
And two years in the past the proficient Luciana Berger was mercilessly bullied, whereas closely pregnant, for talking out towards anti-Semitism throughout the organisation.
This is hardly a kindly, liberal occasion overlaying itself in glory.
Labour’s first manifesto beneath Oxford graduate Sir Keir sanctimoniously declared: “At all ranges of native and nationwide authorities, Labour has all the time been the strongest advocate for higher gender equality.”
Try telling that to Stockport-born, former social-care employee Angela.
Within hours of the Red Wall turning blue, she’d been ousted as occasion Chair.
The not-so-subtle implication being that, as nationwide marketing campaign coordinator, she was single-handedly accountable for studying the room so badly.
Following a right away backlash throughout each Twitter and throughout the ranks of its personal occasion, Sir Keir unexpectedly backtracked, insisting she was merely being “moved”, not fired.
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Sir Keir sacked well-liked Labour stalwart Angela Rayner in a haphazard Shadow Cabinet reshuffleCredit: PA
So a lot in order that yesterday he invented a snazzy, not-so-snappy title for her.
Introducing the brand new, (deep breath): Deputy Leader, Shadow First Secretary of State, Shadow Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster and Shadow Secretary of State for the Future of Work.
A title J.Ok. Rowling might contemplate, ought to she ever convey again Harry Potter.
Similarly, Anneliese, sacked from her publish as Shadow Chancellor, has been wheeled in to switch Angela.
The BBC’s Political Editor, Laura Kuenssberg, described the reshuffle as “a very messy affair”.
She was being sort.
The so-called “brains belief”, the think-tank largely guiding Sir Keir, is, certainly, mockingly named.
TAILORED BLUE SUIT
But for all this speak of misogyny, finally the problem stays that the Labour chief, in his £2million North London townhouse, is a shadowy determine to the occasion’s heartland.
Of course, he can’t assist his upbringing, or intelligence — going to the most effective fee-paying unbiased colleges within the nation, and a few years on the bar — (the authorized sort, he’s not likely a pub man, as his current, embarrassing scuffle with a landlord confirmed).
Sir Keir has been too rarefied for too lengthy.
For a chap who loves a tailor-made blue go well with, he’s been gray for years.
Unlike Boris — along with his John Lewis wallpaper, his 73 love youngsters, his untucked shirts and cussed pot stomach, irrespective of what number of runs he goes on — Starmer has no apparent flaws.
Sir Keir “Son of a Toolmaker” Starmer appears a good bloke.
Lady Starmer appears candy and unmeddlesome.
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The much less well-liked however nonetheless double XX-chromosomed Anneliese Dodds was additionally sacked by the Labour chiefCredit: PA
He has a nice head of hair.
And, decently, he didn’t assault the Government on the top of the pandemic as a result of, as he rightly defined, none of us might have predicted what was going to occur.
But, as a consequence, solely the equally privileged can relate to the person, or sympathise with him.
We like our legislators with character.
We like thundering Boris as a result of he’s completely flawed — like the remainder of us.
Poor Starmer is now stuffed with contrition, saying: “I take accountability, and no one else.
I lead the Labour Party and it’s completely on me.”
Surely it’s too little, too late.
To paraphrase one indignant commentator on Twitter final night time, Sir Keir seems to have failed at his first Cabinet reshuffle . . . he’s nonetheless in it.
Yes, sure, Meg, life’s onerous – however not for you
PRIVACY-loving Meghan has, as soon as once more, bravely appeared on US TV, this time to handle how ladies, particularly these of color, have been unfairly hit by the pandemic.
She is, in fact, completely proper, with ladies nearly twice as prone to have misplaced their jobs since Covid-19 struck.
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Meg has appeared on US TV to handle how ladies, particularly these of color, have been unfairly hit by the pandemicCredit: Avalon.pink
But the Duchess of Sussex, carrying 23,000 quid’s price of jewelry, is the final feminine on Earth who ought to be lecturing us.
From the confines of her £11million Californian mansion, she has, alongside her husband, amassed a £120million fortune (and rising) over the previous 15 months.
“Women, and particularly ladies of color, have seen a technology of financial achieve worn out,” she declared, with a Hollywood twinkle in her eye.
Coming from an actress who has now landed a publishing deal for her “debut” * e book it’s all, fairly actually, a bit wealthy.
*Which, alarmingly, implies a sequel incoming.
Really actually, Jane?
ACCORDING to the improbably lovely septuagenarian Jane Seymour, the key to her shiny appears is a £95 hairbrush and a few posh shampoo.
The ex-Bond woman gave an illuminating perception into her regime.
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The secret to the improbably lovely septuagenarian Jane Seymour is a £95 hairbrush and a few posh shampooCredit: Rex
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Jane Seymour was the third spouse of Henry VIII and was executed in 1537Credit: Getty – Contributor
In fairly the journalistic coup, she informed a fortunate interviewer: “I wash my hair and situation it every single day. It wants colouring. I do have some gray however I’m not totally gray. I’ve stored my very own hair.”
Nothing, in any respect, to do with an eye-lift or a spot of Botox, then.
Either method, it really works.
Quite what Henry VIII’s missus, Jane’s namesake of a few centuries in the past, inset, would have made from it, who is aware of.
But to be truthful, none of his wives lived lengthy sufficient to get crow’s toes or go gray.
Whatever.
Henry would positively have been punching.
Human contact
AS somebody with a pathological worry of pointless human contact, Health Minister Nadine Dorries’ suggestion that “quickly we’ll all be hugging and kissing once more indoors” fills me with horror.
Although wanting ahead to ditching the masks – my gradual blinking, in lieu of a smile, makes me look a bit deranged – I’ve cherished each second of social-distancing.
What slurp doc?
TELLY doc Michael Mosley has lifted the saucepan lid on his each day culinary habits.
God. If that is what it takes to be wholesome, I’d sooner be 30st and stranded within the Thames (extra beneath).
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TV doc Michael Mosley has lifted the saucepan lid on his each day culinary habitsCredit: Channel 4
Firstly, he “self-weighs” each morning.
Breakfast is “kippers with sauerkraut or kimchi”, which he makes himself as a result of it’s “not pasteurised and has billions of microbes”.
This is washed down with “black espresso made in an Italian moka pot”. (Me neither.
Lunch, he says with out irony, is a informal soup constructed from “leftovers, thrown along with legumes, lentils, butternut squash”.
Dinner is principally air. (Cod rolled in seeds).
Dr Mosley, the person behind the monstrous 5:2 weight-reduction plan which requires near-starvation for 2 days of the week, has additionally largely given up booze.
“Because it didn’t agree with us”.
You don’t anticipate a man who made his fortune telling the remainder of us to eat much less to be chowing on deep-fried Colin the Caterpillars, however a little bit of leeway could be good.
Now, move me the Chablis and a white chocolate foot.
Single lefties
THERE are gonna be a lot of single lefties on the market.
Recently, and depressingly, I used to be inspired to hitch a courting app.
Initially shocked by the variety of profile photos exhibiting hopefuls hugging an elephant in Bali, now primarily I’m surprised by the variety of singletons stipulating: “No Tories”.
But then once more, I shouldn’t be.
After all, nobody is as close-minded and judgmental because the woke liberal.
Ex-lover chemistry
LIKE six million others, I tuned in to new BBC1 drama The Pursuit Of Love, largely to analyse the chemistry between rumoured ex-lovers Dominic West and Lily James.
Alas, on account of them taking part in father and daughter, there wasn’t a complete heap.
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Star of latest BBC1 drama was Andrew Scott a.okay.a. Fleabag’s Hot PriestCredit: BBC
Instead, star of the present was the ever-brilliant Andrew Scott a.okay.a. Fleabag’s Hot Priest.
Honourable point out too to the aquamarine pigeons.
We’re all of a blub
NOTHING unites us Brits faster than a beached whale.
This time it was the plight of a stranded child minke discovered caught in Richmond Lock in South West London.
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A child minke whale was discovered caught in Richmond Lock in South West LondonCredit: PA
As a whole lot of onlookers gathered, and the forsaken specimen was kindly hosed down, police, firefighters and the RNLI labored into the early hours of yesterday to free it – although final night time it lastly needed to be put down.
And who can overlook poor Willy the Whale, who ended up beached within the Thames in 2006, prompting a three-day rescue mission, footage of which made world headlines.
Seems we are able to all establish with massive blubbery creatures scrabbling round out of their depth.
Scotch ‘n’ bitter
OBVIOUSLY, just like the woman possessed that she is, Nicola Sturgeon remains to be wanging on about her treasured independence referendum.
While nothing in life is assured, we are able to most likely all agree that in ten years’ time Line Of Duty’s “H” will nonetheless be on the unfastened, Harry and Meghan will nonetheless be bleating about Press intrusion on their 24-hour information, rolling TV channel, and Nicola, bless her, will nonetheless be uttering the phrases “Scottish referendum”.
STEVE BAKER
It’s morally mistaken for Brits to need to socially distance past 21 June
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